The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 8. Ghost

I did not meet very some(prenominal) of Jaspers guests for the two sunbatheny solar days that they were in Forks. I entirely went home at each endure(predicate) so that Esme wouldnt worry. Otherwise, my existence canvassmed more than interchange fit that of a specter than a vampire. I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my sexual love and obsession where I could come across her and encounter her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sun ignitor beside her, whatsoever quantifys accidentally brushing the jeopardize of her hand with their own. She never reacted to such come home their hands were honorable as warm as hers.The enforced absence seizure from school had never been a trial equivalent this before. But the sun beholdmed to ramp up her happy, so I could not resent it too some(prenominal). Anything that successful her was in my good graces.Monday morning, I eavesdropped on a conver sit downion that h ad the say-so to destroy my confidence and vex the time spent away from her a torture. As it ended up, though, it rather make my day.I had to feel some small(a) respect for Mike Newton he had not apparently given up and slunk away to nurse his wounds. He had more prowess than Id given him credit for. He was exit to try again.Bella got to school quite early and, seeming intent on enjoying the sun mend it lasted, sat at one of the seldom used picnic benches while she waited for the beginning(a) bell to ring. Her h line of business caught the sun in unannounced ways, giving reach a reddish shine that I had not anticipated.Mike ensnare her in that respect, doodling again, and was thrilled at his good luck.It was agonizing to only be able to draw, powerless, bound to the forests shadows by the b repair sunlight.She greeted him with seemly enthusiasm to make him ecstatic, and me the opposite.See, she likes me. She wouldnt smile like that if she didnt. I bet she wished to g o to the dance with me. revere whats so important in SeattleHe perceived the change in her hair. I never noticed before your hair has red in it.I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he pinched a margin of her hair between his fingers. simmer down in the sun, she said. To my deep satisfaction, she cringed away from him slightly when he tucked the strand tail her ear.It took Mike a minute to build up his courage, expend some time on small talk.She reminded him of the essay we all had referable on Wednesday. From the faintly smug expression on her face, hers was already done. Hed bury altogether, and that severely diminished his free time.Dang stupid essay.Finally he got to the detail my teeth were clenched so hard they could have pulverized granite and correct then, he couldnt make himself guide the question step to the foreright. I was going to ask if you motivationed to go come bulge out of the closet.Oh, she said.There was a br ief silence.Oh? What does that mean? Is she going to yes? Wait I guess I didnt really ask.He swallowed hard.Well, we could go to dinner or somethingand I could work on it later. Stupid that wasnt a question either.MikeThe agony and fury of my jealousy was every tag end as powerful as it had been last week. I broke some other tree trying to hold myself here. I wanted so ill to race crossways the campus, too fast for human eyes, and snatch her up to steal her away from the boy that I hated so much in this moment I could have kill him and enjoyed it.Would she say yes to him?I dont hypothecate that would be the best idea.I breathed again. My rigid dead be relaxed.Seattle was clean an excuse, after all. Shouldnt have asked. What was I thinking? Bet its that addict, Cullenwhy? he asked sullenly.I think she hesitated. And if you ever repeat what Im saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death I laughed out loud at the sound of a death holy terror coming through her lips . A jay shrieked, startled, and launched itself away from me.But I think that would hurt Jessicas mites.Jessica? What? But Oh. Okay. I guess So Huh.His thoughts were no all- shadow coherent.Really, Mike, are you blind?I echoed her sentiment. She shouldnt expect everyone to be as perceptive as she was, exclusively really this instance was beyond obvious. With as much trouble as Mike had had working himself up to ask Bella out, did he imagine it wasnt just as difficult for Jessica? It must be selfishness that made him blind to others. And Bella was so unselfish, she saw everything.Jessica. Huh. Wow. Huh. Oh, he managed to say.Bella used his confusion to make her exit.Its time for class, and I cant be late again.Mike became an unreliable base from then on. He found, as he turned the idea of Jessica some and around in his cope, that he rather liked the thought of her purpose him pluckive. It was second place, not as good as if Bella had felt that way. Shes cute, though, I guess. Decent body. A bird in the handHe was out then, on to new fantasies that were just as vulgar as the ones close Bella, barely now they only irritated rather than infuriated. How little he deserved either girl they were almost interchangeable to him. I hang ined top of his head after that. When she was out of sight, I curled up against the shut up trunk of an enormous madrone tree and I danced from mind to mind, keeping her in sight, always glad when Angela Weber was available to odour through. I wished there was someway to thank the Weber girl for simply being a nice person. It made me feel better to think that Bella had one suspensor worth having.I watched Bellas face from whichever angle I was given, and I could see that she was sad again. This surprised me I thought the sun would be lavish to keep her smiling. At lunch, I saw her glance time and time again toward the empty Cullen table, and that thrilled me. It gave me foretaste. Perhaps she missed me, too.She had pl ans to go out with the other girls I mechanically be after my own surveillance that these plans were postponed when Mike invited Jessica out on the date hed planned for Bella.So I went straight to her home instead, doing a quick sweep of the woods to make sure no one dangerous had wandered too close. I knew Jasper had warned his one-time familiar to avoid the town citing my insanity as both explanation and precedent further I wasnt taking any chances. Peter and Charlotte had no innovation of causing animosity with my family, but intentions were changeable thingsAll right, I was overdoing it. I knew that.As if she knew I was watching, as if she took pity on the agony I felt when I couldnt see her, Bella came out to the backyard after a retentive hour in doorsteps. She had a intelligence in her hand and a pallium under her arm.Silently, I climbed into the higher branches of the closest tree overlooking the yard.She pass around the blanket on the damp grass and then lay o n her stomach and started flipping through the worn defend, as if trying to find her place. I read over her shoulder. Ah more classics. She was an Austen fan.She read quick, crossing and recrossing her ankles in the air. I was watching the sunlight and wind play in her hair when her body suddenly stiffened, and her hand froze on the page. All I saw was that shed reached chapter terce when she roughly grabbed a thick section of pages and shoved them over.I caught a glance of a title page, Mansfield Park. She was starting a new story the book was a compilation of novels. I wondered why shed switched stories so abruptly.Just a few moments later, she slammed the book angrily shut. With a raspy scowl on her face, she pushed the book aside and flipped over onto her back. She took a deep breath, as if to shut up herself, pushed her sleeves up and closed her eyes. I remembered the novel, but I couldnt think of anything umbrage in it to upset her. Another mystery. I sighed.She lay ve ry still, miserable just once to yank her hair away from her face. It fanned out over her head, a river of chestnut. And then she was motionless again. Her breathing slowed. After some(prenominal) long minutes her lips began to tremble.Mumbling in her sleep.Impossible to resist. I listened as far out as I could, catching voices in the houses nearby. both tablespoons of flourone cup of milkCmon Get it through the wicket door Aw, cmonRed, or blueor maybe I should wear something more casualThere was no one close by. I jumped to the ground, get silently on my toes. This was very wrong, very risky. How condescendingly Id once judged Emmett for his unthoughtful ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline and now I was consciously flouting all the rules with a wild abandon that made their lapses look like zipper at all. I used to be the responsible one.I sighed, but crept out into the sunshine, regardless.I avoided looking at myself in the suns glare. It was bad enough that my skin w as stone and inhuman in shadow I didnt want to look at Bella and myself side by side in the sunlight. The balance between us was already insurmountable, painful enough without this image too in my head.But I couldnt ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got adjacent. My rag locked at the sight. Could I be any more of a freak? I imagined her terror if she opened her eyes nowI started to retreat, but she mumbled again, holding me there.Mmm Mmm. Nothing intelligible. Well, I would wait for a bit.I cautiously stole her book, stretching my arm out and holding my breath while I was close, just in case. I started breathing again when I was a few yards away, tasting the way the sunshine and open air affected her scent. The heat seemed to sweeten the smell. My throat flamed with desire, the fire angelical and fierce again because I had been away from her for too long.I spent a moment controlling that, and then forcing myself to breathe through my nose I allo w her book fall open in my hands. Shed started with the first book I flipped through the pages quickly to the third chapter of Sense and Sensibility, searching for something potentially offensive in Austens overly polite prose.When my eyes stopped automatically at my name the character Edward Ferrars being introduced for the first time Bella stave again.Mmm. Edward. She sighed.This time I did not fear that she had awoken. Her voice was just a low, wistful murmur. Not the scream of fear it would have been if shed seen me now.Joy warred with self-loathing. She was still dreaming of me, at least.Edmund. Ahh. Too.closeEdmund?Ha She wasnt dreaming of me at all, I realized dingyly. The self-loathing returned in force. She was dreaming of fictional characters. So much for my conceit. I replaced her book, and stole back into the cover of the shadows where I belonged.The afternoon passed and I watched, feeling helpless again, as the sun slowly sank in the sky and the shadows crawled acr oss the lawn toward her. I wanted to push them back, but the darkness was inevitable the shadows took her. When the light was gone, her skin looked too pale ghostly. Her hair was dark again, almost black against her face.It was a frightening thing to watch like witnessing Alices visions come to fruition. Bellas steady, tender heartbeat was the only reassurance, the sound that kept this moment from feeling like a nightmare.I was relieved when her father arrived home.I could hear little from him as he drove down the street toward the house. Some wraithlike annoyancein the past, something from his day at work. Expectation mixed with smart I guessed that he was looking forward to dinner. But his thoughts were so quiet and contained that I could not be sure I was right I only got the gist of them.I wondered what her mother sounded like what the genetic gang had been that had formed her so uniquely.Bella started awake, jerking up to a sitting face when the tires of her fathers ca r hit the brick driveway. She stared around herself, seeming confused by the unexpected darkness. For one brief moment, her eyes touched the shadows where I hid, but they flickered quickly away.Charlie? she asked in a low voice, still peering into the trees surrounding the small yard.The door of his car slammed shut, and she looked to the sound. She got to her feet quickly and gathered her things, casting one more look back toward the woods. I moved into a tree closer to the back window near the small kitchen, and listened to their dismantleing. It was interesting to compare Charlies haggling to his tiresome thoughts. His love and concern for his only daughter were nearly overwhelming, and yet his articles were always terse and casual. Most of the time, they sat in companionable silence.I heard her discuss her plans for the following evening in Port Angeles, and I refined my own plans as I listened. Jasper had not warned Peter and Charlotte to stay clear of Port Angeles. Though I knew that they had fed recently and had no intention of lookup any where in the vicinity of our home, I would watch her, just in case. After all, there were always others of my kind out there. And then, all those human dangers that I had never much considered before now.I heard her worry aloud about leaving her father to name dinner alone, and smiled at this substantiation to my theory yes, she was a care-taker.And then I left, realiseing I would return when she was asleep.I would not trespass on her privacy the way the peeping tom would have. I was here for her protection, not to look at her in the way Mike Newton no uncertainty would, were he agile enough to move through the treetops the way I could. I would not treat her so crassly.My house was empty when I returned, which was fine by me. I didnt miss the confused or criticize thoughts, questioning my sanity. Emmett had left a note stuck to the newel post.Football at the Rainier field cmon Please?I found a pen and scra wled the word sorry beneath his plea. The teams were even without me, in any case.I went for the shortest of hunting trips, contenting myself with the smaller, gentler creatures that did not taste as good as the hunters, and then changed into overbold clothes before I ran back to Forks.Bella did not sleep as well tonight. She thrashed in her blankets, her face sometimes worried, sometimes sad. I wondered what nightmare haunted herand then realized that perhaps I really didnt want to know.When she spoke, she mostly muttered derogatory things about Forks in a glum voice. unaccompanied once, when she sighed out the words Come back and her hand twitched open a wordless plea did I have a chance to hope she might be dreaming of me. The next day of school, the last day the sun would hold me prisoner, was much the same as the day before. Bella seemed even gloomier than yesterday, and I wondered if she would bow out of her plans she didnt seem in the mood.But, being Bella, she would in all probability put her friends enjoyment above that of her own.She wore a deep blue blouse today, and the coloring set her skin off perfectly, making it look like fresh cream.School ended, and Jessica agreed to pick the other girls up Angela was going, too, for which I was grateful.I went home to get my car. When I found that Peter and Charlotte were there, I pertinacious could afford to give the girls an hour or so for a head start. I would never be able to bear following behind them, driving at the speed limit hideous thought.I came in through the kitchen, nodding vaguely at Emmetts and Esmes greetings as I passed by everyone in the front room and went straight to the piano. Ugh, hes back. Rosalie, of course.Ah, Edward. I hate to see him suffering so. Esmes joy was becoming marred by concern. She should be concerned. This love story she envisioned for me was careening toward a tragedy more perceptibly every moment.Have fun in Port Angeles tonight, Alice thought cheerfully. Le t me know when Im allowed to talk to Bella.Youre pathetic. I cant believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep, Emmett grumbled.Jasper paid me no mind, even when the stress I vie came out a little more turbulently than Id intended. It was an old song, with a familiar theme impatience. Jasper was saying goodbye to his friends, who eyed me curiously.What a strange creature, the Alice-sized, white-blond Charlotte was thinking.And he was so normal and pleasant the last time we met.Peters thoughts were in sync with hers, as was usually the case.It must be the animals. The lack of human blood drives them mad eventually, he was concluding. His hair was just as fair as hers, and almost as long. They were very quasi(prenominal) except for size, as he was almost as tall as Jasper in both look and thought. A well matched pair, Id always thought.Everyone but Esme stopped thinking about me after a moment, and I played in more subdued tones so that I would not attrac t notice.I did not pay attention to them for a long while, just letting the music distract me from my unease. It was hard to have the girl out of sight and mind. I only returned my attention to their conversation when the goodbyes grew more final.If you see mare again, Jasper was saying, a little warily, tell her I wish her well.Maria was the vampire who had created both Jasper and Peter Jasper in the latter half of the ordinal century, Peter more recently, in the nineteen forties. Shed looked Jasper up once when we were in Calgary. It had been an eventful visit wed had to move immediately. Jasper had politely asked her to keep her distance in the future.I dont imagine that will happen soon, Peter said with a laugh Maria was undeniable dangerous and there was not much love lost between her and Peter. Peter had, after all, been instrumental in Jaspers defection. Jasper had always been Marias favorite she considered it a minor detail that she had once planned to kill him. But, sh ould it happen, I certainly will.They were shaking hands then, preparing to depart. I let the song I was playing trail off to an unsatisfying end, and got in haste to my feet.Charlotte, Peter, I said, nodding.It was nice to see you again, Edward, Charlotte said doubtfully. Peter just nodded in return.Madman, Emmett threw after me.Idiot, Rosalie thought at the same time.Poor boy. Esme.And Alice, in a chiding tone. Theyre going straight east, to Seattle. No where near Port Angeles. She showed me the proof in her visions.I pretended I hadnt heard that. My excuses were already slender enough.Once in my car, I felt more relaxed the robust whizz of the engine Rosalie had boosted for me last year, when she was in a better mood was soothing. It was a relief to be in motion, to know that I was getting closer to Bella with every mile that flew away under my tires.